The Little Bus That Not Only Could ....but Did.

 A few weeks ago, while getting ready for bed, I had a discussion with Noa' about the importance of becoming a "big girl" and how she had so many exciting things to look forward to while she prepares for her "journey". "What is one thing that you think a big girl would do that you don't do now"? She smiled that coy smile and looked up into the air like she was really putting some thought into it and said, "You know what Mommy, big girls take the school bus and you still drive me to school like i'm in Pre-K." My heart skipped a quick beat of panic because I suddenly realized what she was saying and every bone in my body said "NO NOT YET!!"

Going against my stifling mom reasoning I replied, "I have an idea. If you sleep in your bed for 5 nights in a row and keep your green card all week at school I'll sign you up to take the bus." Was it wrong of me to think that she would never reach this goal quickly? I mean this kid is like an extra pillow in my bed and truthfully I think we started to get used to her warm little body between us. It would be good leverage to get her to listen to me when she acts out because the "I'm Gonna Call Your Father" line was starting to get pretty old. In a squeal of excitement Noa' shouted back and clapped, "REALLY MOMMY!!! I'M GONNA DO IT WATCH ME! YEAH BABY!!!"

So night one had come and gone and I hadn't gotten any sleep because I kept waking up thinking, she's gonna call me any minute. Night two I woke up dreaming she was screaming my name and fell up the damn steps to get to her only to see her little chest heaving up and down snoring like a bear in hibernation. Once the third night rolled around I flip flopped from TV One to the WE channel up until 3 in the morning a little annoyed that this kid wasn't waking up like she had any other time and now my sleep schedule is all out of wack. Could she really be taking our discussion seriously? I mean who does she think she is? She's my baby, my little 2 pound 5 ounce premature baby who doesn't know any better about how to travel on a school bus. She still rides in a car seat in my car for goodness sake! By the fifth night I offered for her to sleep in our bed since it was the weekend but eventually felt bad about deciphering a plan to use this night against her plight to Serta  Freedom. And guess who turned me down? Lesson learned. Not only for her but for Mommy too.

That next morning  I drove her to school I waited with clenched teeth for her to remind me that we made a deal and I actually might need to make good on it. On the 8 and 1/2 minute ride she said nothing until we pulled up at the light, right before turning onto her school's street, beside a school bus and I heard her whisper, "Those big kids see me in our car and can tell i'm already a big girl." Just rip my deceitful heart out little gir!l Thanks alot! So when I drove her up towards the drop off point in front of school I pulled into a parking space and said, "well big girl I guess this is it." And she looked at me with the most precious face and smiled and said, "Don't worry Mommy. You can still listen to Steve Harvey in the Morning because we have a radio at home remember." Her reasoning tickled me pink and as we walked into her school together she winked, a new thing she learned, and bid me adieu as she ran to the cafeteria with her huge book bag bouncing up and down on her back screaming "Yeah we're having French Toast sticks! This is a great day!" Smiling I watched my baby make yet another mark in this world and in my heart and I turned to the office to sign her up for the morning pick up schedule on Bus #127.

After months and months of trying to figure out how to get Noa' to sleep in her own bed I finally had a break through! I must say that bartering is an amazing thing and is a great tool to use to get these little buggers to do what you need them to. In the midst of me realizing this sweet treat I also realized that I in turn she had bartered a lesson with me; a lesson in patience and trust, and I couldn't be more grateful.

Noa's been taking the bus and sleeping in her own bed for a week now very proud of her accomplishment. She meets her friends at the bus stop atop the hill in our community as I watch from a distance. I hear her tell our neighbor Autumn, who takes the bus with her,  that Walmart has cool Justin Bieber t-shirts and hope that today they'll have chocolate milk for breakfast and I fight back the tears--- of sorrow of course! Maybe one or two tears were of joy. My little girl is growing up, whether I like to admit it or not and I better get ready for it. I have thought about possibly sitting on her head at night to stunt her growth. With all the Bojangle's biscuits i've been eating lately i'm sure i'd be successful at it. 

Ms. Rip Van Twinkle

I like sleep just like most people, but you don't really cherish sleeping soundly until you've become a parent. I remember bringing Noa' home from the hospital watching her sleep "like a baby" in her crib all the while I was the ultimate insomniac. A few days into doing this I had to give in and realized that she was one of the easiest babies ever. She rarely woke up for feedings and I really had no reason to stay up and watch her lil chest move in and out. She was quiet as a mouse and so very pleasant. I was lucky. THEN.

Flash forward to 2010 with my now 5-year-old Prima Donna and to my surprise no longer a soundly sleeping child. We recently moved to a new home which is considerably bigger than the last and I was more than happy to decorate Noa's new room with all that she could dream of. It's a pink and white Taj Mahal with Princess Furniture, Barbie Dolls, Stuffed Animals, lots of books and best of all clothes, a huge closet full of them that even has room for her toys to be neatly stacked away. I'd like to think that any little girl her age would envy a room like this one and was excited for her as she laid eyes on it for the first time. "Oh Mommy", she said, "this is so beautiful! Is it all for me? I think I’m gonna cry". I had to turn my head to the window so she wouldn't catch a glimpse of me balling my eyes out. "I love this room! It's a big girls room! This is great!" 
We hugged and she danced around on the carpet and all just seemed so well with the world, until later that night. I got Noa' ready for bed following our usual bedtime routine. Potty visit, brush those pearly whites, jump in the shower, get thoroughly massaged with Vaseline and Eczema cream, as if she was receiving an all out Bliss Spa package, read one of her favorite books and lastly put on the lullaby cd that I've played every night since her birth. It's always been a foolproof plan and presented one snoring child that would shame a truck diver in his cab after a cross-country run. As soon as I heard her snoring I eased out of her bed and tip toed to the night-light and crept out the door and a little voice screamed out, "WHERE ARE YOU GOING! YOU'RE NOT GONNA LEAVE ME HERE ARE YOU!" Her eyes were wide and her hair wild and I hoped she wouldn't turn into Linda Blair before my eyes. It was a new house and she needed to adjust so I invited her to sleep in the big bed with us. After weeks and weeks of trying to convince her that all was well in her room and there was nothing to be afraid of I sat her down at the island to have a "talk". Ya know the kind of sit down where you try to get into your kids head and figure out how to combat the problem.

"Noa' can you tell me why you're so afraid to sleep in your room?"

"I can't Mommy. All I can say is that it's not nice up there and I see shadows. And New York was better than here."

"Well do you think if we got rid of your night light the shadows will go away?" I said. 

"No I don't think anything is gonna work and you just need to move over and let me sleep with you guys because that’s what families do. It's so sweet and your bed is really fluffy."

Answering like any desperate Mom would I suggested, "tonight lets ask God to help us when you say your prayers. You think that's a good idea?"

"I think he's too busy making rainbows and stuff Mommy but i'll ask him cause I want a new Zsu Zsu pet, a baby sister and a puppy and I have to talk to him about those things." 

How could I follow that up? I tried so many things to change her mind and help her to face her fears, bribery, blackmail, sea salt, frankincense and sage. I even did a Native American Indian dance, which she hysterically enjoyed but immediately after grabbed her pillow and jutted out her hand and said "lets go downstairs to our room." It's been 3 months and she has her good days and her bad days. Many a night I’m tempted to go for that old school route and break out the Benedryl or E&J Brandy to rub on her gums but my guilt always gets the best of me. Noa's already shown pre-disposed clues of possibly being that college girl on a table that will get the party started (much like her mom) and I figured I shouldn't add fuel to the fire. Some nights she'll wake up 3 or 4 times at night, like she's on a breast feeding schedule, screaming "MOMMY!" at the top of her lungs. I’ve had more than my share of bruises falling up the stairs to go and soothe her.  

My current solution is to be patient and always reassure her that she is safe. We continue to follow the same routine that we've always followed. She's actually slept overnight twice in her room, and I try not to make them short lived celebrations. As she's saying her prayers at night Mommy has her own lil prayer for that one day, one fine day, or week, or month, she'll actually sleep in that beautiful room of hers. God Willing. Until then i'll just move over and endure her little feet in my ribs, I mean I don't know of any 30 year olds that sleep with their parents so I'm hopeful.

New Wave Punishing

With just a few days into Kindergarten Noa' has already managed to make her mark as Ambassador Chatty Patty Talkington. Within her Kindergarten class each child is issued a packet containing five cards: 2 green, yellow, blue and red. Every child begins the day with a green card and they have to work towards a goal of keeping the green card throughout the day and hopefully the week to make that illustrious trip to Kindergarten Mecca; The Prize Box. However if a child has "difficulty" following the class rules their cards are pulled in the sequence they are placed with more substantial consequences associated with each color.

My lovely daughter is very boisterous and has that unnerving habit of saying whats on her mind as soon as it pops into her head. There's no "hmmmm lemme think about this before I blurt it out" or a polite moment of waiting for someone else to finish their thought; she "HAS TO SAY WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY WHEN SHE HAS TO SAY IT MOMMY!" So needless to say 3 days in Noa' has managed to get two yellows and one blue. When asked why the first time she explained to me that "the talk wouldn't stay down in her throat and kept tickling her to come out. So I can imagine that when it did come out it escalated into a slight "Roarrrrrrrrr"being that she was suppressing it as much as she could. The next offense was having to tell the teacher that her method of washing hands was incorrect. "Mommy I told her that you need to shake your hands in the sink first and then turn the water off, there's no other way to do it. But she thought I should do it differently and well I can't do that!" So she lost her card privilege for not only mouthing off but also for not listening. The third offense took the cake because she insisted that she wasn't the type of girl to be second in line. According to her she had to let her friend behind her know that this teacher is crazy for not letting her lead her class in line when leaving the lunchroom and even went as far as to make the crazy hand gesture with her pointer circling around the side of her head and a good ole hearty eye roll in the teachers direction. That day she was adorned with her blue card proudly I'm sure.

So with each of these offenses I had to think of a way to get her to understand the importance of listening as well as learning to respect her teacher. How could I do this I thought and that bright yellow bulb popped up atop my head. I will make her write 8 times "I WILL NOT TALK IN CLASS" and as a twist I told her I would post it up on Facebook for the world to see, even President Obama! When I expressed this to her she gave me a really peculiar look. I wasn't sure if she was gonna cry or suggest that "she was sorry and she didn't speak Spanish." Instead she said OK Mommy I'll do it but I have to hurry up because I don't want to miss Good Luck Charlie. But as she started writing, I'd say by number 3 she looked at me and said, "Does Obama really have to see this mommy? My hands are starting to hurt and this is the Good Luck Charlie when she's pooting so I really have to stop now. That was my in! Missing Good Luck Charlie would be a great lesson learned. And as I insisted she kept going she stopped about every 3rd word to exclaim that she's "missing her show and isn't going to be my friend if she misses it!"

We got through the punishment and I kept my promise of posting it for the world and President Obama to see. She also missed the episode of Good Luck Charlie and decided not to be my friend for the rest of the evening and I lovingly answered "News Flash I'm Your Mother!" Each night after her bath we read a book and say our prayers and she asked that night for God to "Help her keep the talk down in her belly because she has to get up to 100 silly bands" God must of heard her prayer because the next day she proudly met me at the door of her after school program yelling. "I DID IT! I HAD GREEN ALL DAY AND IT WAS THE FIRST GREEN CARD TOO MOMMY! And I couldn't of been prouder!